Presage, Her Inner Dark
by Lizardstep
Summary: Changes are all around us. Some are good, some are bad. Some leads us down to a spiral of darkness. Springtuft had always lived in her own happy bubble, life always the way she expected it to be. When a seemingly normal morning did not go as she thought it would, she found herself caught in her own emotional distress. But something's off...
1. A Drizzle of Despair

Sunshine.

Dandelions.

And of course, warmth.

Such was the perfect elements to start a day, and as Springtuft paced out of the Warriors Den, she felt more refreshed than she ever had been. The sun was hanging by the edge of the trees, and the last tint of orange has faded from the sky. The grass rippled at the arrival of the warm breeze. Dandelions scattered, sending flying tufts of seeds everywhere. Her blue eyes glinted in the sun. It was a perfect day.

But naturally, a perfect moment does not, and will never last long. Soon after, the cream she-cat began to notice deep gray clouds rolling at the edge of the sky, ambushing light like a cat stalking prey in the shadows. And as it gradually reached its target, the temperature dropped. The wind held no longer warmth, but rather a sharp feeling of cold and despair. Light faded from the clearing.

Springtuft sighed. She despised how the weather changes so quickly, but what could she do about it? That was typical StormClan weather. "At least," she muttered to herself, "I'm always lucky on rainy days."

She was wrong this time.

So

so

wrong.

On the highstump, StormClan's deputy Applespark was giving out patrol orders as usual. The deputy's green eyes met hers, and Springtuft smiled in return. They were best friends since kithood, inseparable companions as they grew up. After Applespark became deputy, however, their time together became significantly less. But they would always have a dawn patrol together, no matter what. 'Maybe we could even explore a new path through the forest,' she thought.

Applespark leapt off the highstump as she came up with the idea. Springtuft ran towards her, but soon noticed the swarm of cats around her.

Applespark turned to her. "Sorry," the tortoiseshell meowed apologetically, "I'm going with them today." But her green eyes betrayed her. There, Springtuft saw no emotions except a tint of coldness that she would have never expected from the peaceful Applespark.

Applespark whisked her tail, padding away with Wrensong, Stagshade, Voleshine, Redpounce, and Fernseed. Normally Springtuft would've been fine with that, but she was bothered by the coldness in her friend's eyes. She sighed. "I must be over-imagining things as usual, she told herself."

Looking up again, she met Voleshine's gaze in the distant. This time, Springtuft was sure she wasn't imagining anything. Voleshine's eyes narrowed as she smiled, and shadows flashed in her bright amber eyes. She turned back and whispered something to Applespark, which they smiled and giggled at, walking away. Springtuft watched until she couldn't see them anymore.

Storm clouds covered up the last bits of light from the sky, and large droplets of rain began to fall. It drowned her fur and slid down her cheek. Was she crying?

With one paw, Springtuft wiped the water from her face. Of course she wasn't, it was just rain. But her eyes burned and something choked her throat. She didn't understand- why would Applespark ditch her like that? The cream she-cat would be fine with others on patrol, but why didn't they let her join?

All the questions surfaced in her mind, along with all the possibilities for an answer. Perhaps Applespark isn't in a good mood today. Perhaps the tortoiseshell she-cat wishes for some time with other cats. Perhaps-

Voleshine's hatred-filled smile flickered inside her mind. And after, the light brown she-cat walked off to Applespark giggling… at what?

Could it be Springtuft they were laughing at?

Could Applespark be mocking her this very moment?

Does she secretly… dislike me?

Springtuft unsheathed her claws and scratched the wet earth beneath her. She must be overcomplicating things. After all, Voleshine was always like that to her. They were born enemies, though Springtuft had never realized it till now.

Or maybe Voleshine was just trying to get under her pelt. In that case... Springtuft cleared her thoughts, deciding she would not let Voleshine get to her, not today.

As she glimpsed around, rain soaking her pelt like she was swimming in a river, (how she detests the feeling, may she add) the she-cat realized that aside from the elders sharing tongues in their den, there were no cats left in camp. None in their dens, none by the Leader's den, and she even checked the dirtplace. No cat.

Why would all the warriors and apprentices leave in unison on this rainy day, when cats could get drenched in less than an eye's blink?

Springtuft did not want to think about it. She trotted to the Warrior's den, and dropped her soaking body onto the comfortable moss nest. "Not so comfortable now, is it?" She muttered to herself, "everything is wet."

At least a good nap should fix everything.


	2. Droughts of Tears

Happiness, what does it consist of?

Composure,

Harmony,

Belonging.

Presently, Springtuft has none. In the midst of sleep, she heard a group of cats pass by, chattering loudly as they passed the den.

"Springtuft's so… odd." She caught one voice saying.

"She looks scary," agreed another voice. It sounded like Applespark, but Springtuft convinced herself it was some cat else.

She was so tired, she didn't want to consider much about it.

She was definitely not as calm as she should be when she woke up, and the sun was almost setting. Curlpaw was beside her, muttering quietly to herself.

"Curlpaw?" Croaked Springtuft. Her voice was comparable to a cricket's. "What are you doing here? Is everyone back?"

"No, just me, you, and the elders here, I'm afraid." Curlpaw traced a claw on the floor, drawing random squiggles that don't make sense.

"I was taking a walk through the forest, and when I came back, you were the only cat at camp. Aside from the elders," the apprentice added quickly.

"So Applespark and the others… they didn't come back?" Springtuft studied Curlpaw. Weird, she couldn't tell what the golden she-cat was thinking.

Curlpaw shook her head. "Not a sign of them anywhere." She turned to another piece of ground and began to stack piles of soil. "You will get used to this though. Cats get left behind all the time. I do."

"All the time?" Springtuft went through her memories. Indeed, she doesn't remember Curlpaw ever being on hunting patrols or border patrols. And she never did see the golden apprentice at gatherings either.

Curlpaw's odd gray gaze bore into her. Springtuft managed to stare back, but was immediately overwhelmed by the emotions that it held. Solitude. Madness. Pain. Curlpaw seemed broken inside, tore apart by the brute loneliness the clan has cast upon her. Their clan.

She never noticed. This whole time, this was happening inside StormClan, and she never knew!

"There's me, Wrensong, Fernseed," Curlpaw continued after blinking her emotions out of her eyes, snapping Springtuft out of feeling sympathetic for the apprentice. "Stagshade, Furzepaw and Birchpaw gets left behind sometimes. Redpounce occasionally. And then, there's you."

There was something eerie about the tone in which Curlpaw finished the statement with. Her tone was light, but something shadowed every single word. It reminded Springtuft of Voleshine's darkened amber stare.

Voleshine. At the very thought of that name, her inner world began to collapse once more. The she-cat felt lightheaded all of a sudden, and shook her head in an attempt to clear it.

It slipped out of her mouth before she realized it. "I think Voleshine hates me."

"Voleshine?" Curlpaw was rather unsurprised at the mention of the light brown she-cat's name. "It's what she does." The golden apprentice smiled a sincere smile. "Well, at least now there's you and me."

The sentence sent a fuzzy happy feeling through Springtuft, and though she detected a possessive tone, she couldn't help but smile back.

"Let's go pick a prey at the fresh-kill pile." She suggested.

"Sounds good to me!" Agreed Curlpaw happily.

Springtuft and Curlpaw selected a blackbird and were just settling down to eat, when Voleshine, Applespark, and the others barged into camp.

Voleshine walked up to them. "Hey, that's mine!" She pointed one paw at the prey they were eating.

Springtuft looked up, noting Voleshine's hostile glare before she cautiously replied. "You caught this? That's great, Voleshine! This must have been really hard to catch." The cream she-cat managed to keep sarcasm out of her voice; the bird had one injured leg, and would be easy for even a kit to catch.

Voleshine stared at her like she was a talking tree. "Ha ha, Springtuft, that's so funny. You knew this was mine." Her words ended with a growl.

Frightened, Springtuft peered up, to find all the other cats standing silently beside Voleshine. Some of them even seemed to agree with her, nodding and shooting Springtuft dirty glances.

The cream she-cat then glimpsed back, but Curlpaw was nowhere to be seen. 'Probably ran off as soon as she saw Voleshine,' she guessed.

Voleshine snorted in impatience, snatchinf the blackbird as soon as her attention turned back to the her. "Thanks, I'll have that back." The light brown she-cat sneered, staring at Springtuft before padding away with the others.

The cream she-cat stood there, stunned. Had Voleshine just grabbed their prey without permission? She watched as groups of cats joined Voleshine by the entrance. One of them were Applespark, who looked so happy, happier than Springtuft had ever seen before.

In fact, every cat had a smile on their face as they chatted. What was happening here?

"Let's go back to the Warrior's den," Curlpaw appeared suddenly, meowing with no notice that the cats had left, "you can teach me the best way to hunt."

Springtuft stared at the entrance, where the lasts of Voleshine's group were leaving. "I think," she breathed hollowly, "I need to mend things up with them."

The cream she-cat dipped her head and silently apologized to Curlpaw. As she ran towards the other cats, she felt so desperate.

She didn't understand anything, not the way Applespark acted towards her, nor how Voleshine was so popular, or what she was feeling right now.

But why was Springtuft chasing after them like they were the thief who stole her soul?

She willed herself to cry, but no tears came out.


	3. Drenched in Solitude

Inner calm.

Companions.

And, happiness.

These are the qualities that make a night beautiful.

As the wind tore through the swaying trees, it felt like the night was trapping Springtuft under its darkness. The stars were a thousand eyes, staring at her and whispering hostilely about how useless she was.

The dark whispers got to her, she knew, but it was strange how empty she felt. After all that drama, she thought for sure she'd be all broken and wailing, but this feeling of hollow was so much worse.

She felt like she would never cry again.

Or smile, for that matter.

Her brain was a jumbled mess, unlike how organized it always was. It only made her more confused as she ran mindlessly through the StormClan territory.

What was wrong? That was a question Springtuft could not answer.

Beyond the tall holly bushes which she thought marked the end of StormClan's territory, she scented cats. Cats whose scents were so familiar, she recognized them with one whiff.

Springtuft found a gap between the thorny branches about the size of her paw, and she peeked through to confirm her thoughts. She was right. Under the half-moonlight, it was clear that cats were moving in the area behind the dense holly bushes.

How did they get through such prickly branches and leaves? Springtuft paced along the holly bushes, searching for an opening of some sort, but found all the tiny spaces between the twigs impossible to crawl through. Pelt ruffled by the thorns, the cream she-cat directed her attention to the drizzling sound coming from nearby.

It was a small stream, no wider than a squirrel-length. However, the surface wasn't disrupted by any boulders sticking out. This stream must be deep.

The holly bush did not give away above the stream, stretching to the other side as if there was no water below at all. But its leaves and branches barely touched the water, and Springtuft realized it must've branched out from the streambed both sides.

Which means the space where the stream flows is free for a cat to crawl through. Well, swim through.

As much as Springtuft despised swimming, the hollowness inside her urged her to go on. She sighed and jumped into the stream.

It was deeper than she expected,the swirling water reaching up to her neck. The waves sent a choking feeling through the she-cat's throat. Having been reminded of why she hardly swims, the cream she-cat grimly strode through the deep waters.

It was awful, especially the moment she had to hold her breath and duck her head beneath the surface, walking underwater and against the current, but she finally did find all the cats who haven't been at camp since dawn.

The blankness in Springtuft's mind temporarily disappeared, to be replaced by a sense of relief.

She bottled up all her messy thoughts and headed in the direction where Applespark was meowing something to Fernseed, to which the gray she-cat nodded back in agreement.

"What's up?" Meowed Springtuft to the two cats deep in conversation. Applespark jumped.

"Oh hey, Springtuft," the tortoiseshell meowed, the surprise from her face faded but still left in her speech tone. She turned back to Fernseed, and they continued talking as if Springtuft never popped up.

Fernseed whisked her tail. "I still think it's better to bounce lightly on the ground towards your prey. If you don't put pressure on the ground, you make less noise."

"But if you dart forward quickly," Applespark made a swiping motion, "the prey will be dead before it even hears your sound!"

"What about the hunting crouch?"

The words were out before Springtuft even realized. "I mean..." she tried to add to her statement, but already found both she-cat staring at her oddly.

Fernseed lifted her chin. "And?" she meowed coldly.

The gray she-cat's attitude only made Springtuft stammer more. "I mean, it is, um..."

"If you want to use the hunting crouch," shrugged Applespark, "then you can use it." She stood up with Fernseed, and together they padded towards the other side of the clearing.

The hollowness came back as she watched her friends pad away with their backs towards her. Springtuft wasn't even sure if she should use the term "friends" anymore. Her mind collapsed again. Had it been fake all this time, her friendship with not only Applespark, but every cat else?

Just then, Applespark turned her head in the distance, her green eyes looking directly into Springtuft's. "Can you hear us?" The she-cat's voice seemed to come from very far away, yet Springtuft heard it clearly.

"Yes, what?" And when Applespark didn't respond, she meowed it again, "what is it?"

The two cats on the other side of the clearing didn't seem to hear Springtuft, and they began talking once again. Unintentionally, she caught parts of their conversation.

"...she is really forcing, isn't she?" Fernseed complained.

"Yeah! Like, if she wants to do something, she should just do it herself."

The tortoiseshell she-cat's words hit Springtuft with a pang. She knew she was quite annoying, but it was hurtful to hear Applespark badmouth her. The cream she-cat decided to listen on.

"Why are you friends with her?" Meowed Fernseed promptly.

The hesitation on Applespark's behalf told Springtuft much more than any answer would have.

Springtuft lost sensation in her legs, her mind blank ad she fell into the ground. So it was fake, this whole time. She remembered all the good times she had with Applespark- training, playing, hunting, patrolling, and she couldn't believe it was a false act.

But perhaps it really was, and Springtuft was too naive to start with.


	4. Presage, Her Inner Dark

Disbelief.

Betrayal.

Broken links.

The feeling that she was utterly alone in this world was more than enough to tear Springtuft apart. From a distance, she could tell Applespark and Fernseed were snorting at some unknown thing; presumably her. Their snorting turned into snickering, which turned into a giggle.

And for some reason, all the cats in the clearing started laughing. They laughed and they laughed, getting only louder until it turned into an unbearable jeer.

Springtuft bolted up and gazed at her surroundings. Every cat 'was' jeering at her. She couldn't believe some of their faces: disgust, cruelty, amusement as if they were staring at a mutation between a fox and a badger.

She turned around, spotting a tiny golden she-cat lurking behind the shadows. She slowly paced out into the moonlight. It was Curlpaw, her gray eyes unrevealing, her expression unfathomable as always.

"I thought you were my friend," she hissed, "and now you abandoned me."

Curlpaw sauntered around her, her curly tail whisking the ground lightly. "We were all left behind sometimes." Something about her voice made Springtuft uneasy, more than she had ever been with Voleshine.

"We were all left behind sometimes," the apprentice echoed, in a voice too sweet for guidance, too airy for support, too fake that it only made Springtuft more scared.

"Yes, and not just you, or Redpounce or Stagshade, or Wrensong and Fernseed." Her voice became a bit distorted; Springtuft wasn't sure if it was Curlpaw's voice anymore. It's much higher, with a tint of sassiness and vanity. Familiar, yet Springtuft could not identify whose exactly it is.

"Not Curlpaw, but me." Curlpaw smiled a smile unlike her own; a smile a psychopath kit would've made after murdering its mother with yew.

Her eyes brightened in colour, ending in a shade of bright amber. Her curly golden fur flattened and dimmed until it resembled that of an otter's. She became distinctly smaller in size, hardly apprentice age, she guessed.

"How long has it been, Springpaw?" Meowed the she-cat, tilting her head upwards and looking down to her. "Oh wait, you're Springtuft now."

"Don't you remember me? Daughter of the late Wolfstar, acclaimed leader of the nursery?" Pure haughtiness shone in her eyes, something Springtuft has not seen in quite a while.

Well, chose not to see.

"Volepaw," she muttered.

The tiny apprentice squinted her eyes. "Oh, hey! So you do remember me! But then..." She paced closer, her prideful steps shaking the ground, her amber eyes full of menace. "You also remember what you did to me, don't you?"

Springtuft gulped. "But you can't be real. Voleshine has been a warrior for moons! How-" With one shocking glance, she realized the young version of Voleshine standing in front of her wasn't all that real looking. Her shadow blends into one with her body, seeping energy around her that couldn't be described with words. The closest would be…

"Dark," Volepaw cackled. "I am an Inner Dark."

"That's right. I have manifested inside Voleshine ever since she was a kit. I fed on her negative emotions- when she was ignored by you, when she was unsuccessful during hunts, when some cat sabotaged her assessment.

"I know everything about her. Her weaknesses, her fears, but she was my host, so I also saw her strengths. As I was slowly brought to life, I knew I had to help the other Inner Darks escape, too.

"After analyzing every cat in StormClan, I realized Voleshine was the quickest fuse towards an explosive release of my comrades. She has arrogance, and most important of all, the will to place her need above all others.

"She was desperate to escape her isolation. And I was more than ready to help her. I taught her manipulation, which she was a natural at, and that brings us to where we are now."

"That can't be true!" Springtuft exclaimed, though it came out as more of a squeak. "Right, Voleshine?"

But the crowd of cats who were at the clearing disappeared, replaced by shadowed entities floating just a tail-length off the ground. Though dimmer, the same energy obscured the objects, as they did with Volepaw.

"Whoops," shadows flickered in Volepaw's eyes as she grinned at Springtuft innocently, "forgot to tell you, it's either the host or the Inner Dark. They can't coexist at the same time. Except manifesting, but that doesn't count."

Springtuft shifted her blue gaze across the now shadow-filled clearing, spotting a floating thorn bush, flying hedgehogs, and some others she couldn't process with her eyes. "So these," she whispered weakly, "are all Inner Darks? Then where are..."

"Your 'friends' ?" Springtuft shivered as Volepaw emphasized the word 'friends'. "They are most likely stuck in a timeless and spaceless limbo. Imagine the pain of not existing! Oh wait, there's none." She cackled again.

That's when an Inner Dark caught her attention: a cobweb about the size of a monster, twisting and tangling in sickening ways that could even make the tiniest ant feel trapped.

With one look Springtuft knew that particular Inner Dark belonged to Applespark, who ever since kithood refused to receive treatment on any of her wounds. It made more sense now, how the tortoiseshell would go out of her way to avoid the medicine cats seeing her scratches; it wasn't just a dislike, but pure fear of cobwebs. A shiver went down her spine as she remembered that Applespark is now stuck in a state of non-existence.

Volepaw leapt into the air, floating at the same height as the other Inner Darks. "Pity," she cooed at the Inner Darks, "they all had so much potential. But as a non-individual Inner Dark cannot act on its own, their energies would relinquish by almost half after this rendezvous. Oh well. This is a necessary step."

And as the light brown apprentice floated higher and higher, Springtuft noticed the forest shadows rose as well. And it was not until the light brown apprentice was fox-lengths from the ground did she stop. The forest shadows covered the entire sky, leaving no bits of stars shining through. However, Volepaw's demonic expression was as clear as ever. She smirked, her eyes widening and showing whites on the side, and her pupils dilated unnaturally into a slit.

"Say bye-bye," Volepaw's smirk widened even more, stretching across her face and making her look absolutely furious.

Then the apprentice fell from the sky with one paw stretched out, punching her towards the ground.


	5. Drown

Springtuft thought Volepaw's blow hit her. She even felt the apprentice's paw on her cheek, smacking her head downwards. Her head spun, her cheek stinging and pulsing as she fell…

But where? Wasn't there a ground under her a moment ago? Springtuft looked up, and found the shape of the light brown apprentice fading away like smoke.

The other Inner Darks were gone too, she realized, to her distress. It was just her, the dark, and the endless feeling of lost.

Springtuft had fallen before, multiple times when she slipped out of trees due to her clumsiness, but this felt different. She wasn't sure if she was really falling or not. For one, the gravitational pull wasn't coming from beneath her. It was coming from inside her, as if some cat's trying to flip her inside out.

A spasm went through Springtuft, making her whole body cramp in pain. She groaned softly. In her struggle, she felt her hind paws scrape against something soft.

Could that be ground? Springtuft half expected herself to turn into mush upon impact, but she stayed where she was, floating in the air. The pull from inside of her made her jerk with pain once more.

Just as suddenly as it came, the feeling disappeared, and Springtuft was gently lowered onto the soft pine needle ground. Her eyes began to adjust to the dark.

But there was nothing to look at. The sky was dark, the forest was dark, the ground slightly darker. There was hardly any difference between this dark and that dark, which was all Springtuft could see, and it wasn't helpful.

Volepaw's laugh blasted into the quiet forest. Her high voice was bubbled up, making Springtuft was glad she didn't have to hear it in clear quality. Oddly however, all the fear and disgust Springtuft previously had for the she-cat was all gone. It doesn't mean Springtuft likes her now, more like the place for fear and disgust has been left vacant. She didn't choose to not dislike Volepaw, it was that she couldn't.

"You're looking very confused there, my friend," boomed Volepaw, followed by another laugh as distant as ever. Springtuft thought that statement would revive her loathe for Volepaw, but some cat seemed to have stolen the ability to dislike from her.

"I never expected this from you, Springtuft," meowed Volepaw as if she was crying from glee or amusement, presumably the latter. "Such a powerful Inner Dark constructed within a day!"

Oh, of course. Her negative emotions aren't there. That explains a lot why she could hardly feel anything except calm right now. Normal cats would panic after even one second in this dark, claustrophobic forest.

Springtuft attempted to bark back a response, her voice soon becoming a series of inaudible wheezes. She tried yelling, but sound could not escape her throat.

Volepaw gave a content snort. "I can see everything you do," she sang. "You know, I lied about the limbo thing. The truth is… "

She paused dramatically. Springtuft briefly felt annoyed, before the blankness of her mind shoved its way back.

"You trade places with your Inner Dark."

"Yes. While your Inner Dark takes the physical form, you become the soul of the body.

"And if the Inner Dark is powerful enough, you'll eventually succumb to it." She finished happily.

"Now, I'll just take a seat here and watch it happen. Oh, I can't wait! I know what it feels like to take over a cat, but I have no idea what it looks like. I can imagine your expression already. It'll be hilarious!"

Springtuft has long decided since then she was not going to succumb to her Inner Dark. She looked around for a tree suitable for climbing. Most trees were so bare near the base, it would be impossible for a squirrel to climb. The cream she-cat ran around, searching for one to climb, though she may have been a little too out of her mind.

Then a tree appeared in her face. It was dark, as everything else was. Springtuft expected herself to crash into a tree, but still she was taken by surprise. Bark does not taste good.

She glanced at the top of the tree, about to curse the tree for appearing out of nowhere, when she stopped. Her blue eyes widened at the formation of the tree's branches (the parts she could make out in the darkness, that is): it spiraled around the trunk, twigs and branches intertwined to create a gentle slope. A nine-moon old

apprentice would be able to climb that, let alone a warrior like her.

She took an easy step onto the woven slope, and sighed in relief when she realized it was quite sturdy. Springtuft continued padding up in silence, wondering if there would be anything that can break the Inner Dark. The answer must be at the top of the tower.

The spirals of the slope went on forever, twisting and turning in the dark, the trunk gradually narrowing. Safe as she felt, Springtuft felt calm enough to focus on her inner thoughts.

Instead, she realized all her worries are gone. All the controversial memories she had were sorted unemotionally into place, and when she thought of them she felt like she was lookibg from the perspective of an outsider.

She then wondered about the slope, and wondered where it would lead up to. A weakness of the Inner Dark, or perhaps something telling her about it?

Another possibility flashed through her, and she paused in alarm- maybe it was all a trap. The same very moment, the slope beneath her collapsed before she could even react.

This time, it was falling for real. For some reason, Springtuft was oddly joyful about it. Until she hit the surface of the liquid.

It was like water, slightly stinging her pelt as she crashed, but however she struggled and flayed her limbs, she didn't stop sinking.

One thing she knew, however, was the fact that water does not have a mind of its own. Nor do they tighten their grip on cats and try to pull them down. That was exactly what the liquid did, scaring Springtuft out of her pelt as she sank a little deeper under the surface.

The liquid pulsed and tugged at her, beckoning her to sink more and more. There was nothing to hold on to, nothing to hope for, no way to get out.

Springtuft gasped as the liquid choked at her throat. It was smooth and cold, runny but impossible to move in. And most of all, dark. It was darker than shadows and trees combined, darker than anything else she could see. A lost, hopeless black.

All the blank spaces were filled once more. Fear torrented inside her stomach, making her feel nauseated. Panic grasped her body. All the anger, hatred, sadness, disgust she had felt upon the world dashed out at once.

Another wave of darkness rose and pressed her downwards, which she used all her energy to fight back. Why was Springtuft still struggling at this point?

She knew she was doomed.

She knew this was her end.

She knew she was succumbing to her Inner Dark.

Something sparkled in the sky, a familiar beauty she had never appreciated before. It was a star.

So far away, were her ancestors still watching? Could they see her even to this point?

She realized, tears falling from her eyes, that she didn't want to lose the world around her.

It was too late. Her Inner Dark pulled her down, and trapped her in an infinite abyss of dark.

Isolation. It was her greatest fear. Not the darkness of the world, not cats disliking her, but losing connections from reality.

Not existing was much worse than expected. There was hardly anything to it, only uncomfortable. And lonely.

She wondered when her tears would stop.


	6. Restore

"Springpaw?"

The Apprentice's den was awakening; dawn has arrived, the cream apprentice could sense even with her eyes closed. Her body felt like she walked through a muddy swamp during the night. She was so tired, she was starting to wonder whether she slept at all. She kept her eyes closed.

"Springpaw?" They whispered. Her eyes fluttered open. Redpaw and Applepaw stared at her with both their eyes wide.

Redpaw bent down lower. "Are you alright?" He meowed curiously, but concern shone in his eyes.

"Yeah," chorused Applepaw, "you look like you've been crying the whole night."

Confused, Springpaw lifted a paw and pressed it down slightly below her eye. It felt puffy and wet. Her eyes stang a little too.

"A nightmare, maybe?" Chimed a third voice. Fernpaw joined the watching cats, her eyes sparkling with concern. "Do you remember anything about last night?"

Springpaw blinked. "Remember…?" She muttered to herself. Last night was the Gathering, and they all returned some time after moonhigh, exhausted and desperate for sleep. Springpaw only remembered returning back at the Apprentice's Den and gladly crashing onto the soft moss bedding. Nothing after that.

She spaced out, her eyes shifting focus to a light brown shape by the edge of the den. Volepaw was sitting sideways awkwardly, breathing shallowly with her head down.

A shadow of something flashed in her amber eyes. A shadow moved in Springpaw's mind. "You can still change everything," it whispered, coming from both Volepaw and Springpaw herself.

Hm, so maybe she did have a nightmare after all. Deeper down, Springpaw recognized this might be something more important, say, a message from her StarClan ancestors. And though the shadow didn't look starry at all, she thought it was best to remember the message.

Volepaw's face was twitching, her eyes blinking in abnormal patterns. After every wink, shadows took over her eyes. She saw this somewhere before. Volepaw has been doing this ever since she became an apprentice, and Springpaw has no idea why she's only realized now it was familiar.

Her sight blacked out, and she saw- felt another familiar scene. Flowing liquids, splattering at her and drowning her. Darkness. Fear. Insane cackling. The memories darted by in the blink of an eye, followed by another whisper. "Save me."

Springpaw stared at the light brown apprentice. She was sure the whisper came from her, but Volepaw's mouth didn't move at all. Still looking downwards, she scrunched her face, her eyes darkening once more.

"Don't worry about her," Fernpaw's green gaze hardened as she flicked her ears, "Volepaw has always been like that. The acclaimed leader of the Nursery seeking attention as usual." Her meow ended in sour sarcasm, and Applepaw glanced back at the light brown she-cat indifferently.

On a normal morning, Springpaw would've agreed with them, shoot a belittling look at Volepaw, then walk out the den like nothing happened. The exhaustion, the messages, and the shadows were enough to tell her this was no normal morning.

For one, the sympathy she felt upon Volepaw came out of nowhere. Why would Springpaw feel sorry for the most annoying creature ever existed? And yet she does. The she-cat always pursuing praises from the other cats, constantly swarming around her and the other apprentices, talking about how amazing she herself was.

That Volepaw and this Volepaw , they couldn't possibly be the same cat… unless, one is just a facade?

Springpaw had never thought about it before. Now that she has, she figured out that must be what others believed, too. They most likely guessed this trembling, face twitching Volepaw was only a facade.

It couldn't be. Springpaw never remembered shadows flickering in Volepaw's amber eyes when they were training together. It only occured during when they ignored her.

"Springpaw, should I call the medicine cats?" Asked Applepaw. The cream apprentice hardly heard her as she sat up. "You're spacing out- where are you going?"

"Perhaps," She murmured, "we should stop ignoring everyone," She stepped up to Volepaw.

The light brown she-cat looked up with darkened eyes and a shadow of a grin. The menace of it chilled Springpaw to the bones, but as Volepaw blinked, her amber eyes regained brightness, and she force-pulled a smile.

"Hi, Springpaw!" She meowed with false excitement. "Going on dawn patrol with Applepaw again? Have fun!"

Volepaw's eyes, however, shone beyond sadness, as if expecting herself to be alone again today. Springpaw sighed.

"You're coming with us today."

She could tell by the glimmer in Volepaw's gaze that she was not expecting that answer. The she-cat blinked at her, like she was expecting Springpaw to tell her any moment it was all a joke.

So Springpaw headbutted her out of the den. She glimpsed back at Applepaw, thinking she would be against Volepaw joining their dawn patrol, but the blithe tortoiseshell shrugged. "The more the merrier!" She declared cheerfully, and padded up to join the two.

Redpaw smiled. "Are you two finally letting others join your dawn patrol? I'm in!" The russet tom bounced after them like an excited kit. Watching him, Springpaw smiled too; her spirits are already lifting.

Wrenpaw stood behind Fernpaw, tipping her head as she saw the group of apprentices outside. Fernpaw held a questioning expression. "What is with all this sudden friendliness?" it said.

Springpaw tipped her head backwards and gestured at her to join. Fernpaw stared, but a grin slowly grew on her face. She finally gave up and joined them. Wrenpaw raced after her. "Don't just leave me behind!" she cried.

"What's with the commotion?" Meowed Stagpaw as he, yawning, strolled out the den. He froze as he saw all the apprentices chasing after each other.

"What's this, the Nursery?" Even the normally aloof Stagpaw was smirking.

"Join us Stagpaw!" Meowed Redpaw, bouncing up and down. "It'll be just like the old times!"

"Yeah, join us."

"C'mon, Stagpaw!"

He smirked even wider. "May as well." And he joined the rank of the other apprentices. Springpaw couldn't remember the last time it was like this: all six of them heading out on patrol together, laughing and talking just like when all of them were kits.

Applepaw, debating peacefully about shrews.

Fernpaw, determined that voles were better.

Wrenpaw, running around and admiring flowers.

Redpaw, skipping around in random directions.

Stagpaw, seeming annoyed but was hiding a smile.

Volepaw, quiet for the whole way, but Springpaw could tell she was enjoying this.

And there was her. Wrenpaw huffed a piece of tuft onto her nose, which she hooked off with a claw. It was a dandelion seed, so light, so beautiful, so full of potential.

Sunshine.

Dandelions.

Warmth.

And friends.

Springpaw hoped every day can be like this, a perfect day filled with joys of life. The future may be uncertain, but she could settle with knowing her friends will always be there for her. She had never been so happy.

And the dark disappeared from Volepaw's eyes. After that day, her eyes never flashed with shadows ever again.


End file.
